Thank you so much EquipMudra for supporting this longed-for VBAC

This second pregnancy starts off complicated, with an early haematoma that loaded the first trimester with fears, nausea and vomiting. Second trimester feeling better, working full-time at the health centre and ending up exhausted…

We contact the Mudra team to consider support at home during labour/dilation. We arrange the first session online and the second in Flaçà, at their welcoming centre.

At last my sick leave through the mutual insurer comes through in the third trimester, in January, and Aniol starts doing supply teaching at various secondary schools. Me and the big belly take Gael to school and spend the afternoon at the park while Aniol prepares lessons; I bathe him, dinner and off to bed. We make the most of the last weeks as an only child!

We think about a home birth but I’m afraid to do the pushing stage at home because of the small risk of uterine rupture from a previous caesarean scar. I’m afraid to give birth at home (even though I know the risks are minimal) and also to give birth in hospital (iatrogenesis, intervention…). In the end we decide on dilation at home only and the pushing stage at Sant Pau hospital. With Marga and Carla we prepare for your arrival with love and firmness.

I feel heavy, with piles on my bum and vulvar varicose veins, what a state down there! I do yoga and swimming to prepare myself physically.

Two days before, we hold a birth ritual with my friends. They bring me images, empowering phrases, amulets and plants, they hug me and give me energy.

12 March 2024

Without knowing it, we do our last pre-birth yoga class with Aniol. Intense positions, breathing. At midday, we go to pick up Gael for lunch at home. He’s intense, excitable. Maybe he already senses it.

I start to have a few contractions in the afternoon, gentle ones. Gael won’t sit still, and me after him. We have dinner and I put him to bed. The contractions start to grow stronger. I go to the bathroom and pass a brownish mucus from my vagina. Yes, the mucus plug. Around nine, the contractions intensify, reminding me of the ones from Gael’s birth… Already, in labour? But it’s still only week 38, little chickpea! Maybe it’s pre-labour…

-Aniol, I really need to poo! – and I go to the bathroom, I poo about four times. I shower and clean myself, because with the piles irritated from the pregnancy it’s impossible to use paper… I go back naked to the bedroom, and suddenly an intense contraction, again –I need to poo!!! And I rush to the toilet while leaving a trail of poo down the hallway that announces that indeed; I’m in labour!

We let Marga know, and she tells us she’s on her way. We let my parents know, they arrive right away. Gael is already asleep. He absolutely won’t get up. I tell him to get up, that we’ll watch an episode of Titó (I use the last resort, between contractions) and that “grandpa Ton and grandma Nuni” have come. He opens one eye, and agrees. He sits on the sofa to watch the episode and meanwhile we gradually convince him that he’ll go with his grandparents to Sant Andreu to sleep. I shut myself in the bedroom with the pilates ball to move through the wild contractions on my own. They take Gael away.

I start to enter “planet birth”. I vocalise, I move my pelvis on the pilates ball, eyes closed. I don’t know how much time passes. Dim lights, music.

Marga arrives with her smile of trust in the body and in life. Seeing her calms me. It’s twelve. I move my pelvis on the ball and she places the hot water bottle on my lower back. It presses and comforts me. We listen to your heart, Juna. You’re doing great. Your journey towards this earthly world begins. We’re excited.

The contractions are painful, sharp! I let them go, I think of a wave as it retreats leaving the sand wet, I imagine myself a tigress roaring. When they pass, I have a few minutes –too few– of rest. I close my eyes, sinking inwards, I talk to you inside me. We keep trying movements. I’m not sure about setting up the pool, the logistics feel like a mountain to me. I stay on the mat. We listen to your heartbeat, which tells me everything is fine and I can stay focused on this journey.

Around four, Marga asks if she can examine me and we assess. I agree, I’m 6cm. I mention starting to think about the transfer. I think that if I wait longer, the transfer will feel harder. Aniol goes to get the car.

We go down with the bag with your bodysuits and nappies. It’s cold. I put on a huge maternity coat over my dress, my legs wintry and hairy and some boots; what a sight! I lie down in the back with my head on Marga and my feet up against the window, I can’t find a good position, resigned I close my eyes the whole journey, moaning, I see lights and shadows, I open my eyes, we’re in a tunnel. Police checkpoint. – We’re in labour!!! – they let us through with startled faces.

We arrive at Sant Pau hospital, Aniol goes to park and I go in with Marga. They make us take a huge detour through the labyrinthine hospital until we reach the delivery room. We give our details and go straight in. The midwife who receives us is an acquaintance of Marga’s, what luck! She offers me nitrous oxide to move through the pain, a gas you inhale when the contraction comes and the pain seems a bit softer. It calms me. She leaves us in a room with a toilet, shower and ball.

Aniol arrives. I keep working with the ball, different positions, but I’m already quite exhausted. They examine me, I’m 8-9cm. I ask for a low dose of epidural…, They take a while, the anaesthetist comes and administers it. How hard it is to stay still while they inject between your vertebrae! A pleasant sensation runs down my legs and lower belly and eases the pain. I breathe, relieved. We all rest a little. Aniol’s hand soothes me and Marga’s gaze gives me confidence. More mucus plug, mucus and blood that overwhelm Aniol and he has to be seen to lying on the floor.

Now free of pain, I see I can move my legs and stand up without any problem. I try some yoga positions, I move my pelvis. I shower. The contractions become gentler and more spaced out (I see it on the monitor). It seems labour is slowing a little. Another examination, I’m at 9cm.

Little by little, I feel the waves of the uterus again. The anaesthetic is wearing off and the intensity of the contractions returns. They bring me the birthing chair. I’m fully dilated, but it seems Juna still isn’t coming down the birth canal.

I keep having flashes of Gael’s caesarean birth, when he wasn’t coming down, out of line with my pelvis. I tremble at imagining the operating theatre again. I feel a lot of pressure in my bum. That’s a good sign, Marga tells me. Phew! I share my fears with her. She reassures me, she says the progress is good.

We’ve been in the pushing stage for a few hours, and you come down the birth canal slowly. The team of midwives and the assistant encourage me a lot to push hard while holding my breath, because they see that’s how you come down. I think that pushing this way wasn’t ideal but I do it. When the contraction comes I push with all my strength. They catheterise me to drain my urine since I’ve gone hours without weeing and have no urge to wee. They then break the sac, splat!! since we’ve been in the pushing stage for 4-5 hours and by protocol they won’t let me stay like this much longer. We go to the bed, legs up, they hook up a sheet. I push with each contraction feeling like my heart will burst, I grab the sheets like Tarzan’s vine! A lot of pressure on my pubic bone. The obstetrician comes with a ventouse. Give us two more contractions, we beg! I give it my all in the next contraction. Feel, feel (with a clean finger haha)! I feel your head, you’re here! What emotion! One more contraction, out comes your head, and with the next your whole body, beautiful and perfect. You’re on my chest. We welcome you with tears in our eyes. You’re gorgeous.

The cord pulses, between your belly button and my open, bloody vagina. Aniol cuts it. They give me a little anaesthetic to stitch me up, I’ve torn. The placenta takes a little while to come out, they press on my belly and blup!.

It seems at first you struggle to find the nipple, but when you find it, you don’t let go! Welcome Juna, little one!

13 March 13.25h

3210 g 46.5cm 34cm head circ.

Postpartum: complicated, with pain in the area of the tear for many weeks, initial urinary incontinence, mild bladder prolapse… Early breastfeeding with cracks, with which Marga and Carla help us a lot, we improve positioning, etc. Little by little everything falls into place